It’s time for a change. I started this blog over 12 months ago because I was miserable. I wanted somewhere to vent and get things off my chest. I only wrote 2 posts because I found that writing things down didn’t actually make me feel any better. I actually found that it made me more sad. Things have been difficult at home; things have been difficult at work and whilst I’ve had amazing support and help from my friends and colleagues, it’s been very draining.
Some good things have come out of this difficult time however. First of all I have taken some time for me. I have found Reiki and this has helped me enormously and I have now been attuned to Level 1.
With some help from my managers at work, I’ve also realised that I can’t give 100% to everyone all the time and that sometimes it’s good to take a step back. More importantly, I’ve realised this doesn’t mean I’m a failure, it simply means that I recognise my limits and am not afraid to say when I’m getting too close to them for comfort.
I still take happy pills, Daddy Bear still likes a drink and the cubs are still just as brilliant as they always were. The difference is that now, I’m stronger and happier – and I don’t want to write about how sad I feel – because I don’t feel sad. Writing about things that make me unhappy seems like I’m dwelling on them and that isn’t good for anyone. So I’m changing this blog to something that makes me happy. My allotment (Our allotment if I must). We’ve had it about 18 months now and it sometimes feels like we’re no further on. But still it’s my happy place.
So it’s a new road now – in a different direction. And I’m really looking forward to it.